Will religion make me happy?

Sister Rejane  
This Random Nun Clip is brought to you by A Nun's Life Ministry.

Sister Maxine  
Our next question comes in from Leslie in Canada. And Leslie asks, "I really feel my life has a lot of unhappiness. Do I need religion to find my way?" And I think another way to look at Leslie's question is: should we expect religion to make us happy? Or at least less unhappy? Thank you for the question, Leslie. And I'm sorry to hear about the unhappiness in your life. You know, we all go through some times where it seems almost inescapable. Many people, especially in the times of COVID, may find themselves in that position more than they're accustomed to. We definitely will keep you in prayer during this time in terms of the role of our religion, and our faith, in regard to happiness.

Sister Shannon  
I think that sometimes people attempt to make a clear distinction between spirituality and religion. "I'm a spiritual person, but I don't attend a church," right? "I'm not religious." I've heard those distinctions made. It's kind of interesting to me, because I think there's so synchronous and important to connect in one's life, that they support us from both angles. It is true that the spark of God is innate in us. And that call to hear God's voice in us is also innate. But I think religion has a deep, deep value in our lives for a variety of reasons. What religion has to offer us -- and I would speak out of my own Catholic faith -- is, first of all, I think the power of community life. That I'm walking with people who are like-minded in their faith tradition. Religion offers us keen ways of expressing our faith. Primarily in Catholicism that happens through the sacraments. The deep connection that we make with Christ who has given us the Sacrament of the Eucharist -- we come together, and we share a meal with one another. We come together and we seek forgiveness not only from God, but seek forgiveness from one another. When we baptize a baby, the whole church is engaged. When we ordain someone to the priesthood, it's the laying on of hands of all of the faithful. So there's this wonder about religion that gives us that kind of community life. And then finally, I think the beliefs that we come to own out of our religious traditions are what give us a graced sense of God's goodness. We trust in the afterlife, we believe, in difficult times that God is there, even when we sometimes don't see God. This comes out of that. And that emerges from the sacred texts that are there at the heart of our religion. And so will it just automatically take away your unhappiness? I don't think that's the answer. What religion provides is a way of surrounding you by God's grace and helping you, along with others, to enter into a deeper relationship with God.

Sister Maxine  
What's beautiful in Leslie's question, and as you describe that deeply relational part, especially in the sacramental part, Leslie is looking toward religion as a possible source of richness and goodness in her life, which is so important because sometimes I think there's a misperception that religion is supposed to be somehow judgmental, or restricting of our freedom, or somehow carves out that narrow path that if we stray off of it, you know, God help us literally. But in Leslie's question, I'm hearing more of a tone of what you're describing: that religion can be very life-giving. And of course, happiness can be associated with fulfillment in life or satisfaction in life. And I think religion and faith, they offer that opportunity. Course, you know, it's going to be up to us to engage with it.

Sister Shannon  
You know, I think sometimes, in looking at a religious tradition, we get a little hung up with the legalism of a religious tradition with the rules and the laws. And when we recognize that we are engaged in a religious tradition, seeking the common good through the grace of God, then there is not literally the need for somebody to say, "Thou shalt not, thou shalt not." I should know intuitively what's the right way to treat another person? What's the right way to live? What's the right way to share, in mercy and justice, the gifts that I've been given with others? It comes out of a lived experience of faith, rather than a simple following of the rules.

Sister Maxine  
And in that lived experience of faith, we are going to step forward with our best intentions. And because we're humans, we may not always succeed with our best intentions, or it may end up going another direction. And sometimes it's our community who can help us get past that when we feel like we fall short or we weren't able to be our best self, even if we were desperately trying to be.

Sister Shannon  
Some of the stories that we're told in the Gospels about Jesus's reaction to a very narrow-minded, legalistic approach to the law, teach us really what religion should be about. When Jesus is asked, "What's the most important of the commandments that I should keep?" And we know there are 10, and we can rattle them off, I'm sure. Jesus doesn't even go to one of those commandments. He says, "Love God with all your mind and your heart and your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself." Both are taken from the Old Testament, by the way. He gets to the heart of why we have the laws. We have them so that we can love God, we can love ourselves, and we can love others. And then the rules of that faith tradition will kind of fall in place.

Sister Maxine  
As you say that -- loving ourselves, loving others. It may be that for Leslie, this appears to be an interest in religion -- maybe within that is a call to happiness. I don't think religion, even whether it's the letter of the law, or more the spirit of law, or both -- it does require our participation in it.

Sister Shannon  
It does.

Sister Maxine  
Wholeheartedly. And maybe for Leslie, that call to participation will help with unhappiness. Having said that, protracted unhappiness, particularly in these times of COVID, it may help to see somebody who's a professional. You know, I think many people are turning to psychologists to talk things through in these times of stress.

Sister Shannon  
And I think that's really good advice. We don't know all of Leslie story, but we certainly hold her in prayer before God. Religion is not just the answer, like taking a pill. I mean, this is really a call. It's a vocational experience. And so if the unhappiness that lies within your heart, Leslie, is deep, then indeed, maybe it's time to get some help, and talk with someone. But religion and a community of faith to listen and to care and to love -- that can help.

Sister Maxine  
As you were talking about that, I remember one of our sisters who had to make a very difficult decision about a ministry once. She chose to leave. And she said, "You know, sometimes we are called to something else by virtue of discomfort with where we are." For Leslie and for others, maybe some of that sense of unhappiness is actually a calling to try something different. Maybe it is a calling to go into deeper relationship with God. Discomfort can be a very powerful motivator, at least in my experience.

Sister Shannon  
Indeed. And if religion is what comes to her mind and heart, as she considers what change she needs, that's a part of the call.

Sister Maxine  
Mm-hmm. And to not discount those areas of discomfort. You know, as I think about my own life, Shannon, I often think probably times of discomfort have done more to get me moving in a direction. [laughs]

Sister Shannon  
That's really true. And we've had a variety of experiences with religion. I was raised up in a Catholic home and with parents who found the faith to be critical and central to their lives -- not to the degree of some. You know, we didn't say the rosary together as a family every night -- we did a couple times. Yet faith was central. We went to church together. And others have not been introduced to faith at all. I don't know what Leslie's story is. But they have nothing to draw upon in terms of the stories, the background or the experience. So an exploration of the beliefs of Christianity as a religious organization could be a really valuable exercise, if that, in fact, is not Leslie's experience.

Sister Maxine  
And so, let's talk just a little bit about where to get started. So for Leslie, if there is a thought, "Well, maybe, maybe religion is where I am being led, religion of some kind" -- where would be a good starting point for her?

Sister Shannon  
Couple places, I think. One, oftentimes people enjoy praying with others. And so to share in a religious worship service might be a really helpful thing. To find a trusted friend and go to church with them, or to go back to a church that Leslie's familiar with. I don't know what the background is there. The other is to take up the scriptures. I think sometimes just reading, especially the New Testament scriptures, starting, perhaps with the Gospel of Luke, where he kind of lays out the whole thing for us to sort of see what is the base foundation of the faith tradition of Christianity, and who is this Jesus and what might he mean in my life -- that might draw her in.

Sister Maxine  
And even though like in these times, it's harder to go to, let's say, a Mass at a parish, there are some, and they practice social distancing. And if that is, Leslie, in your comfort zone, to have -- as you're suggesting -- an experience of it. And to also be aware, at least in the Catholic faith, there is the RCIA program, Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults, that will take you to that next level of understanding in the faith. You would attend that -- I don't know how they're doing it, maybe it's online now.

Sister Shannon  
Could be.

Sister Maxine  
Uh-huh. But it will, it will help you advance in that understanding and be very helpful to the life of faith, if that would be a route you would want to go,

Sister Shannon  
You can certainly watch the liturgy or watch worship services on the computer or on TV, because so many offer them but I'm not sure that's the best starting experience for someone who's exploring religion for the first time. I think it would be valuable to share that with somebody you know, or you feel comfortable with so that you can talk about what you're witnessing and share the experience.

Sister Maxine  
Before we leave the question, I would ask, too, Shannon -- should we expect religion, not to make us unhappy? And I ask that, because some people would say, "Well, I don't expect it to make me feel good. What I want is something that I can follow that helps me make meaning of my life. So I don't expect it to make me feel good. But if it does, yay."

Sister Shannon  
Interesting question. My own experience is that I find it hard to imagine that it wouldn't make you happy. But it doesn't mean it's perfect. Right? There are decisions that are made in in my church, our church tradition, that I question or that I wonder about, but I think that's where the notion of faith comes in: that you trust, that you believe in God, that it's bigger than the externals or the rules that are made. And we've witnessed over the centuries that a religion evolves. It changes it grows. Hopefully the people within it grow. I don't think it's "you put in a nickel's worth of prayers and get back a nickel's worth of blessings. It's not.

Sister Maxine  
Although there are times I kind of wish it was like that. [laughter]

Sister Shannon  
"If I show up, then I'm gonna get what I want." Or "If I go to church on Sunday, and pray, I'm gonna get this blessing I'm looking for." I think it's more about the experience of building the relationship. But I do think there is happiness, there is joy in a faith tradition, there's a joy in a shared experience. I love to sing. So coming together for Mass is just always a pleasure for me. And it's about all of it.

Sister Maxine  
You mentioned the questioning part, because the thing for me, is, I have to own it. And so that means I have to question my faith sometimes. I have to question what I see in my religion, because it's the process by which I can own it more deeply to say, "Yes, you know, I have questions about that. But I am willing to hang in there. I am willing to do this because I see and feel the value in my life."

Sister Shannon  
The wisdom that's a part of our tradition is really key. And we trust that. That's why we go to people we trust when we're discerning an answer in our lives. We seek the wisdom, and it lives within religious traditions, I think.

Sister Maxine  
Like in the tradition of religious life for Catholic Sisters, that centuries long discourse about a relationship with God -- I find a lot of value in my own life for it. I'm gonna I'm gonna look at it very differently than maybe somebody did 200 years ago in religious life. But as you were saying, that wisdom offers me some insight, offers me some encouragement. And for Leslie, who may be looking at a faith tradition, whether it's Catholic or some other tradition, that is one of the great values: that it's part of this huge discourse about God -- and you can enter into that did.

Sister Shannon  
Indeed.

Sister Rejane  
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This transcript has been lightly edited for readability.